


Desiderium Votum

by ineloquentcretin



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, Defense Against the Dark Arts, Domestic Fluff, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Hogwarts Era, Hogwarts Sixth Year, I'm Bad At Tagging, Implied Mpreg, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Light Angst, M/M, Not Actually Unrequited Love, One-Sided Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter, Possibly Unrequited Love, Spells & Enchantments, i sincerely apologize for this abominable creation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-09
Updated: 2020-12-09
Packaged: 2021-03-10 04:08:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,804
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27907993
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ineloquentcretin/pseuds/ineloquentcretin
Summary: And Harry knew, he knew Malfoy was talking about the cottage in Godric’s Hollow, filled with family photos and children that looked like him and Draco.
Relationships: Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter
Comments: 15
Kudos: 117





	Desiderium Votum

It was one of the bitterly cold nights in December, but he never felt this warm before in his whole life. The very first thing that he noticed was the house was small— _way too small_ compared to the house he grew up in—and it was nothing like the Manor, but it was comfortable with a homely atmosphere. The inside of the house was filled with warmth and he could smell sandalwood, fresh cold wind, something like freshly cut grass, pine, and vanilla. There were only two windows in the living room, the long white curtains were pulled up, and he could see the snow falling outside through the windows. A crackling fire was burning in the wooden surround fireplace, sending its warmth and light far out into the room, a big comfortable looking sofa in front and two big chairs on each side of it. The fireplace was decorated with small figurines, picture frames, and an expensive vase of spray roses. A family portrait was hanging over the fireplace. He took a few steps closer to have a better look.

The portrait was... beautiful. A fancy high back chair sat in the middle, and there were three boys standing on each side of the chair. The serious-looking boy had a dark hair and grey eyes, and the other two exactly looked like each other, the only difference was their hair and their eye colour; the other one had slicked back white-blond hair and grey eyes and an arrogant smirk on his lips, and the other had jet black messy hair and green eyes and a playful smile on his lips. Standing on the back was a man with unruly dark hair and warm green eyes hiding behind thick eyeglasses, his arms draped casually on the back of the chair, a soft smile gracing on his lips. He immediately recognised the man; Harry Potter. His eyes travelled down the person who was sat elegantly in the chair; his right elbow rested on the arm of the chair while his other arm was snaked around the small waist of the little girl sitting on his lap; the girl had blonde hair, green eyes, and a toothy grin. Draco also recognised the person in the chair, he knew him pretty well; Draco Malfoy, it was him.

His eyes travelled down to the small picture frames. He saw Harry sitting beside the hospital bed holding a baby in his arms; his eyes wet with tears, and Draco on his side, sitting on the bed, his right hand was touching Harry’s arm. He saw the twins riding brooms together; both of them trying to catch the snitch. He saw the serious-looking boy with a party hat on his head; he was blowing a candle on his cake. He saw him and Harry kissing in front of Hogwarts; Draco was raising his left hand, showing off the big diamond ring on his ring finger. He saw Harry and the little girl riding a horse. He saw himself giggling; the serious-looking boy and the twins kissing his whole face. He saw himself and Harry laughing with the Weasleys. He saw himself, Granger, Weasley, and Harry; Weasley’s arms were wrapped around Granger, and Harry’s arms were wrapped around him, and they were both smiling at each other. He saw himself kissing Harry’s cheeks while Harry was showing off his Auror badge. He saw himself riding a broom and grinning. He saw himself and Harry standing in front of the altar; kissing each other with so much passion on their wedding day. He saw himself and Harry smiling happily with Lucius and Narcissa at the gardens of Malfoy Manor. He saw himself and Harry with their children; showering them with kisses.

Draco’s heart filled with warmth at the sight. They looked happy, really happy, he thought as he watched himself laughed with his family. Suddenly, a sound filled the whole room. Draco put the picture frame back in its right place, he hadn't even noticed he had taken it. He looked around the living room and his attention was caught by the record player resting on the top of the cabinet on the other side of the room. Draco’s eyes went down to the little girl standing beside it; she was on her tippy toes, and grinning widely at him. He smiled back at his daughter before he went across the room to pick her up.

[A familiar sound flooded the room. ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=npwHNcGqueE)He held his daughter close to his chest, her face tucked into the crook of his neck, her breath slightly tickling him as he gently hummed and swayed them to the music until she fell asleep.

It was past ten in the evening when the door creaked and opened. Draco didn’t stop swaying to the song, didn’t want to wake their daughter up, and his senses were quickly filled by the familiar manly scent. He heard the footsteps coming closer and it stopped in front of the door to the living room. Draco slowly turned around. His breathing hitched when he was greeted by the sight of Harry Potter leaning against the wall in the hallway.

This Potter was older, this Potter looked older, but still his Potter. He still wore glasses and still had that ridiculous bird’s nest on his head. He was wearing the Head Auror robes and he smiled that smile that always made Draco’s heart jumped ten feet above the ground. He looked gorgeous, standing there in the hallway of their home, gazing and smiling at Draco like that. He knew then, that his heart wasn’t really his to keep.

He pushed off from the wall and straightened up. He walked closer to Draco and stopped right behind him. His arms gently wrapped itself around Draco’s waist as he kissed Draco’s cheek and let his chin rest on Draco’s shoulder. The whole room was illuminated by the flickering light. They gently swayed to the music softly playing in the background, and Draco thought he never felt this comfortable and happy his whole life.

They stayed like that for a few moments before Harry reluctantly let go of Draco. He kissed their daughter goodnight, and let him brought her to her room. After tucking their daughter in her bed—leaving the lampshade open, and kissing her cheek—Draco made his way down the stairs back to Harry. Harry was sitting on the sofa, his eyes closed and head lolled back. Draco smiled and sat down beside him. 

Harry’s eyes opened, gazing lovingly at Draco. Draco scooted closer to him, Harry’s arms automatically wrapped themselves around Draco. Draco let his head rest on Harry’s chest, he could feel his heart beating a little bit fast against his cheek, Harry planted a soft kiss on the top of Draco’s head. Draco sighed contentedly.

“How was your day? You came home a little late.”

Harry hummed. “Sorry. I forgot to firecall you. I was so busy, we found a lead and we're getting ready for a big raid tomorrow. We’re positive we’re gonna caught them this time.” 

Draco nodded, absently tracing circles on Harry’s chest. He was never happy with Harry’s job as an Auror. It was too dangerous and Draco just never felt at ease every time Harry was out in the field. It felt like he was constantly living with fear. Now that Harry was finally the Head Auror, he didn’t really have to go out to the field, but sometimes he was needed, especially with big cases like what they were handling right now. It was like Harry heard his thoughts, he held Draco’s hand with his and interlaced their fingers together. “Don’t worry, I’ll be careful.” 

“You better be, Potter. You have _four_ children. I’ll kill you if you leave me with four insufferable brats.” 

Harry laughed, his chest vibrating with uncontrollable laughter, and Draco’s heart warmed once again. 

“Oh, you’re not going to believe what Scorpius wrote to me!” 

Draco lifted his head from his husband’s chest and raised an eyebrow at that. “What?” 

“He and his brother almost set the whole broom cupboard on fire and almost got their arms burned! McGonagall gave them two weeks of detention.” 

Draco’s eyes went comically wide. “What?! Almost got their arms burned— what?!” Harry laughed again. Draco shook his head. “Don’t laugh, Potter. I’m telling you, those kids are so close to getting expelled! Remember when the three of them pulled a prank on sixth year Ravenclaw boy and his friends and _almost_ got the boy killed? And that one time they sent their little sister _flying on a cardboard box!_ Those kids are monsters! I told Weasley to stop giving your sons product from their joke shop but he never listened to me!” 

Harry didn’t stop laughing. He only laughed harder at the memory of his daughter flying on a cardboard box. Draco was calling for Lily when he saw her flashing her toothless grin, laughing, and flying around the backyard on a cardboard box while her brothers were cheering her on. Draco almost fainted, Lily was just one and a half year old at the time! Draco glared at his husband. “Oh, would you stop laughing?!”   


Harry snorted through his laugh and made an effort to stop his giggles from coming. Draco glared at him the whole time. Harry cleared his throat, visibly trying to fight another laugh. “Don’t you want to hear about how they almost set the broom cupboard on fire?” 

“Oh, do I want to hear about what your crazy sons were up to, Potter, of course!” 

Harry cleared his throat again. “They lit a condom on fire.” Draco’s jaw dropped, and his husband tried to contain his laughter but failed miserably in doing so. Draco’s mouth opened and closed and opened again as he stared at his husband in shock.

“What? How—? I mean what are they doing in the broom cupboard with a condom, Potter?! Are they going to wank each other off or fuck each other—,” Harry laughed louder. “Stop laughing, it’s not funny and you’re going to wake up Lily!” 

“But it is, though, and I put a silencing charm,” Harry replied smugly, Draco rolled his eyes. 

“But seriously, what are they doing in the cupboard with a condom? And where did they get that condom?” 

“I don’t know, but shouldn’t we be glad they know how to use a condom by now? We didn’t have to have a talk about safe sex and the birds and the bees.” 

Draco glared at his husband. “Your twins are only twelve years old, Potter, and your eldest is only fourteen! And yes, you should have the talk with them when they get home for Christmas Holidays!” 

Harry groaned. “Can’t you do that? You’re a better talker than me.” 

“No, you have to do it.” 

“But why me?!” 

“Because I want you to suffer.” 

Harry groaned and shook his head. Draco smiled triumphantly. “Why do I always have to be the one to suffer?” 

Draco’s eyebrow shot up. “Just in case you forgot, Potter, I carried your children inside me for nine fucking months! I’m still fat from carrying Lily!” 

Harry straightened up a bit at that and brought Draco closer to him. Draco tucked his face into the crook of Harry’s neck, silently inhaling his manly scent. He felt Harry planted a kiss on his head again, this time much longer, “Thank you, for giving me a wonderful family.” 

Draco smiled softly and nuzzled his husband’s neck. “And insufferable prats. Merlin. Tell your sons to stop fucking around, Potter, or else I will never allow them to go to Muggle London again.” 

Harry laughed. “Mhm. Honestly, I’m surprised you still get shocked whenever you heard about our sons' little schemes.” 

“Like it’s a good thing, Potter. Please tell James to stop planning those _schemes_. I know he’s the mastermind of all these! That brat! And he’ll never admit it to me! Always finds a way to blame it on one of his brothers!” 

“Mhm. He’s a Slytherin. He took after you.” 

“Is that an insult?” 

“Well, it's also not a compliment.” 

Draco groaned and wrapped his arms around Harry a little tighter. His husband chuckled, his head resting on the top of Draco’s head. They stayed like that for a while; sat cosy by the flame, warm against each other, their silent breathing and the music were the only sounds they could hear in the room. Draco watched the flickering light sway and curl, crackling as it burned the dry wood, and thought it felt so good to be this warm again. 

“Tomorrow’s our Anniversary,” Harry whispered, his voice soft and hushed. His fingers tracing little shapes on Draco’s back. Draco hummed. “We did alright, didn’t we? In spite of it being you and me,” Draco hummed again, and Harry continued talking. “You know what I mean. They said it’s not going to work between us because...” 

“Oh, shut up. The whole Wizarding world’s opinions are bollocks anyway.” 

“You’re not going to leave me in the future, are you?” Harry slightly pulled away from Draco to look at him. Draco could hear the anxiety in his voice and could see the fear in his eyes. Draco rolled his eyes playfully and gave his husband a peck on the lips. “You’ve been groping me for seventeen years, Potter, and I want you to continue groping me for years to come.” 

Harry let out a chuckle and pulled Draco closer to him. “I asked Molly and Arthur to look after Lily tomorrow.” 

Draco hummed and nodded. “Thank Merlin. I’ll send Molly flowers later. I’m so tired of that kid. She’s so full of energy, I couldn’t finish my work because— oh you wouldn’t believe what she said to me today!” 

“What did she say?” 

“She asked me if I could put foams in her chest because she wants bigger tits! And I said no, I couldn’t do that Lily, it’ll grow bigger in time, and then she asked me when, she wants bigger breasts now because apparently, she likes someone and boys love big chests.” 

Harry gaped at him the whole time, eyes wide in disbelief, and then he burst out laughing. “Really? She said that?!” Draco nodded, Harry laughed again. “Oh, she’s got a crush on someone, huh? Who? She’s like five!” 

Draco shrugged. “A muggle celebrity, Potter, from this muggle band. She saw him in the magazine. He’s got curly hair and green eyes.” 

Harry nodded. “Ah... our kids are crazy. Remember that time James went around pointing at his crotch and asking everyone if they want to touch his dong? I would never forget Lucius' face when James asked him,” Draco snorted and joined Harry’s loud laughter. “Well, what do we expect, they’re your kids after all.” 

Harry sighed, shaking his head and looking amused. “And your kids, too. A total disaster, it is.” 

Draco looked at his husband, his features illuminated by the flickering light; he looked beautiful Draco thought, and he never felt this warm before. Harry stared back at him, his big smile slowly fading as his eyes travelled down to Draco’s lips. He saw Harry’s Adam's apple bobbed up and down, and when his eyes looked up again and met Draco’s, his breathing hitched. Harry’s eyes were intense; full of unadulterated love, desire, and adoration. Draco unconsciously licked his lips as he stared back at Harry with the same exact intensity. They stared at each other for a moment before Harry smiled softly and leaned closer to Draco, he touched Draco’s left arm and his eyes went down to watch Harry’s long fingers gently caressing the mark. Draco’s eyes watered, he reached out and cupped Harry’s cheek with his free hand. He leaned closer and locked Harry’s lips into a passionate kiss with his. 

_“Wise men say, only fools rush in, but I can’t help falling in love with you...”_

Draco heard the lyrics of the song echoed throughout the room. It was the song he heard outside of the record player shop when he got lost in Muggle London once when he was ten, it was also the same song they played at their wedding. He thought it was perfect, Draco couldn’t stop thinking of the song and it always reminded him of Harry. His eyes burned beneath his closed eyelids, his lips moving perfectly against Harry’s. His heart _ached_. Every part of him ached, and he felt home; safe, contented, warm, happy, loved. He tried to tell Harry everything with his kiss, he poured everything he felt and wanted to say into that kiss. 

And Harry answered by pulling him even closer and deepening the kiss. His tongue licked Draco’s lower lip, he bit and sucked, seeking for entrance, and Draco parted his lips to give him what he wanted. Harry’s tongue slipped in his mouth and met Draco’s, licking and tasting every part of it. 

Everything was perfect. The night was dark and cold, but the burning flames were enough to give them warmth and comfort. The music not too loud in the background and making everything felt a lot more wonderful. The kiss was now turning into something more, and Draco never felt happier in his whole life. 

Then, something _snapped_ , causing everything to fade away. A light tapped on his shoulder brought him back to his _reality_ , back to the Defense Against the Dark Arts classroom in Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. A bright light blinded him for a moment. He blinked repeatedly before completely opening his eyes and met Snape’s dark and shocked ones staring back at him. 

Draco didn’t feel the rush of fear and panic he expected himself to feel. Instead, he felt cold and numb, the feeling of pain and despair slowly overcoming him, something he didn’t expect to feel after practising that ridiculous spell.

Desiderium Votum was the name of the spell. It could show you your heart’s truest and deepest desire by experiencing it. The caster of the spell would be able to see your desire, but wouldn’t be able to experience it as you would. 

Draco stood there in front of the class and was probably staring at nothing for five minutes while under the spell. His eyes involuntarily looked for the unruly dark hair and green eyes and stopped when he found it, but Potter wasn’t looking at him. Draco traced his line of vision and found Potter looking at the wide-open door at the back of the classroom. He saw a red-haired girl passing by and smiling sweetly at Potter. Draco watched Potter smiled that smile that always made his heart jumped ten feet above the ground, and he was looking at her the same way he looked at Draco in... another life. Draco watched as the red-haired girl waved at Potter and then she was gone.

Potter turned around and gave his attention back to the class again. He looked at Draco, his eyes hardened and narrowed in suspicion. His stare somewhat hostile, very different from the way he looked at Ginny Weasley earlier, and Draco’s heart clenched painfully in his chest.

He knew it was his fault. He wasn’t likeable at all, he didn’t deserve Potter’s friendship nor attention. He was stupid, a coward, a racist, a bully, and now a death eater. A follower of the madman who wanted Potter dead, who killed his parents when he was just a baby, who tried to kill him when he was just a year old. He felt the dark mark itched on his inner left forearm, and Draco couldn’t help but feel ashamed under Potter’s gaze. He wanted to scratch it out, or burn his own skin, or carved it out of his skin, or cut his own skin with a knife. The feeling of shame was eating him whole and it was killing him. Draco knew he didn’t deserve Potter. Draco knew they weren’t meant to be friends or more than that. There would be a war sooner than later, and Draco with his whole family was on the other side of it. But even though that was the case, he would pray every day that Potter would make it out alive, he would try his best to help him in any way possible. That was what he tried to do at the beginning of their sixth year, at Hogwarts express, he tried to send Potter away and protect him. He knew something bad was going to happen soon, he was given a task by the Dark Lord and he would kill him and his parents if he failed to fulfil it. He knew he was going to be the one responsible for all the horrible things that were going to happen soon in Hogwarts. He knew when he took the mark that it was over. Draco wouldn’t have a chance to show him, to tell Harry how much he loves him. 

Draco’s eyes burned with unshed tears as he stared back at Potter’s eyes, and he felt cold and pathetic. He knew if they both survived the war, Draco would marry a rich, pure-blood girl, and Potter would marry Ginny Weasley. She would have the life Draco wanted from the beginning. She would give him a wonderful family and insufferable prats; something Draco couldn’t do in this reality. His heart ached. Every part of him ached. He would never meet his children; he could never have a dance with his little Lily, he could never scold his twins for lighting a condom on fire, he could never tell his James to stop planning their little schemes, he could never sit with Harry by the fire and watch the flames flicker this way and that. His heart ached, and he wished he could have it. He wished it was true. 

“Mr Malfoy,” he heard Snape’s almost gentle voice, and it sounded weird in his ears. He turned to look at him.

“Yes, Sir?” 

“What did you see, Mr Malfoy?” he asked in the same tone he used when he called his name. Draco inwardly cringed. Why was he asking him that when he already knew the answer? 

Weasley snickered. “Probably Voldemort hitting Harry with the killing curse.” 

Draco turned to look at him, but his eyes landed on the dark-haired boy sitting beside Weasley. Potter’s expression was serious, and he was looking at Draco with an odd look on his face. Draco stared back at him and spoke, “A house. I saw a house, Professor. It was small, and nothing like the Manor, but it was warm, pleasant, and very comfortable.” 

And Harry knew, he knew Malfoy was talking about the cottage in Godric’s Hollow, filled with family photos and children that looked like him and Draco.


End file.
